It’s good to know that after seventeen years, Hubby and I can still surprise each other. Like the other day when he realized that I have no actual understanding as to the rules of football.
I was explaining to Miss Teen Wonder the reason for the “wildcard” game between the Minnesota Vikings and the Green Bay Packers. “Well, ” I said, “neither team has a good enough record to make it into the playoffs straight out, so they are duking it out for the final spot.” Hubby groaned.
Hey. It seemed plausible enough. Also, apparently the game doesn’t go “First down, second down, third down, fourth. Switch sides. Repeat. The End.” Who knew?
Or when he learned that when walking through our darkened house at night, I do so with both eyes firmly shut.
“Why in the world would you do that?” He asked.
Clearly, he never heard of a young lady named Helen Keller. I had. And like any good, over-anxious and melodramatic first child spent a good part of my childhood practicing maneuvering without the benefit of sight. You know, just in case. Not to mention the fact that there is a small part of me that still thinks monsters might, just possibly, exist and I’d rather not see them if they do. So I close my eyes. Again, just in case.
|May be fictional– may be lurking in the bathroom.|
Neither of these revelations, however, equal the surprise Hubby has been laying on yours truly, lately.
Marriages are really a matter of balance, right? In ours, I have been the more passionate, emotional one and Hubby our reasoned moderator. In the past year, however, he has been joining me over in the fist shaking section of the political arena.
“Those greedy rat bastards!” He’ll say, reading of some new, corporate misdeed.
“Rat Bastards!” I’ll happily repeat, unused to having my more vehement viewpoints supported.
You can’t possibly understand what a change this is. For the past seventeen years, whenever I got a mite hot-headed or panicked over some nefarious political maneuvering, Hubby would launch into the “Why you should reserve judgement based on these twelve examples from the entirety of world history” speech. I’m not sure it calmed me as much as lulled me to sleep, but -Hey!- it worked.
Suddenly, though, we have two impassioned progressives in the family. And that passion is spilling into all sorts of arenas. Hubby has become a hard-core, year round biker. And not just pro-biking. Anti-car. He keeps lobbying that we lose the minivan and go carless. With five kids. I mean, what could possibly go wrong?
We have three composting bins, one dedicated strictly to non-recyclable paper, two rain barrels, and every time I purchase shampoo I get a lecture on the evils of plastic. ( “It can only be recycled once…ONCE!”) As if I’m the one who chose the packaging in the first place. I’d have a box of composting red worms in my basement right now, if it wasn’t for the blessed intervention of our green contractor who nixed the idea, because it would release too much moisture into our house and lay the groundwork for mold.
Recently, I’ve been reading Eat to Live, Joel Fuhrman’s book about the benefits of eating a plant based diet. Super fascinating and something that, given my pre-pregnancy, vegetarian past, I am innately inclined to believe.
“Let’s do it!” Hubby enthused.
“Say what now?” I nervously responded.
|Eat the Donut…eeeeat it!|
Understand that this is not simply vegetarian or even vegan. Dr. Fuhrman’s plan is about eating 90% fruits and vegetables at every meal. The remaining 10% should be comprised ideally of beans and raw seeds. No sugar, no alcohol, no caffeine, no nothin’. Eat up, kids!
That tore it. In my marriage, I am the one who gets the cockamamie idea and Hubby is the one who reels me back in. That’s how it has been forever and ever, amen. As its probably too late for an annulment, I needed to do some serious re-evaluation as to our respective roles, and quickly.
I turning to Hubby with a level, yet calming gaze.
“You know, throughout history, humans have eaten incredibly varied diets, many with surprising health benefits. Take these twelve examples, for instance…”
It’s going to be a long, long winter.