PLUMB TUCKERED OUT

Does anyone else need a nap?

PLUMB TUCKERED OUT

Does anyone else need a nap?

First off, I should say I wouldn’t even be here without the kids. No, I’m not talking about their love or unerring support–have you even met my kids? They will cut you for a cookie. (But then again, so will I.) No, I mean that without their destructive, logic-defying antics, I wouldn’t have been writing as long as I have. The whole blog is just a protracted focus group meant to answer the question: Are they crazy or am I? Now there is a book. It’s about the insanity I am subjected to every day, be it from the kids, my hillbilly husband or my own inner, and clearly dysfunctional voice. Bowing to popular opinion, I have not given up my day job. And why would I? It’s clean, it’s quiet, and none of my co-workers demand that I wash their dirty socks or steal my earphones. I may move in.

It’s Hubby’s birthday. Hilarious!

It’s Hubby’s birthday. Hilarious!

Tomorrow is Hubby’s fiftieth birthday, an event I have been waiting for with gleeful anticipation. “Oh, my husband? He’s not with me right now... you know how TIRED folks in their fifties get.” “Are you SURE you should eat that? Now that you’re fifty, you need to...

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I’m fine.

I’m fine.

Much of this past year has left me convinced that there exists somewhere a Melanie-shaped voodoo doll absolutely festooned with hat pins. Politics has me in a delicate state, mentally limp on a couch, just like poor Beth in Little Women. You would think the Universe...

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Diamonds are Melanie’s Best Friend.

Diamonds are Melanie’s Best Friend.

Sometimes my husband has flashes of brilliance. For instance, he recently informed me that we met exactly 25 years ago on Super Bowl Sunday. “I think we’re going to have to celebrate,” says he, then proposes that we have his mother’s diamond engagement ring retooled...

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Therapy is Not a Game. But if it is, I’m Losing.

Therapy is Not a Game. But if it is, I’m Losing.

Because 2017 was so stressful, both politically and personally, we have finally sought out professional help. It was a move that surprised exactly no one who knows me, I'm quite certain. Unfortunately, I am terrible at it. First off, I can barely handle the lobby....

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The Rise & Fall of a Momocracy

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