Finally, a bit of blasted relief. No, I’m not talking about the onset of cold weather—though those that know me, know that Summer runs me down. There is simply too much pressure to get out there and enjoy yourself! Every single Summer day is 27 hours long; it doesn’t even get dark until 10:00 at night. I simply cannot be productive that long. I can barely manage to be productive until noon. No, better for me when it gets dark well before dinner. Come autumn, people tend to be a lot less judgy when I come to the door at 4:30 p.m. already in my pajamas and drinking my second glass of wine. See? So much better.
Anyways, the relief I have desperately needed is from bone-crushing exhaustion. Attempting to cope with our political environment while raising teen-agers has very nearly done me in. Every time I turn around there seems to be bad news on either the national or personal level. Actually, now that I think about it, the similarities between our current president and the teens residing in my house are very strong; the tantrums and the irresponsible social media usage come to mind. Also, I’m fairly certain every one of them is up to something illegal. It is sapping my strength, I swear to God.
But, no more. Last week, I decide to take the sleepy bull by the horns and DO something about it. So, I bought multivitamins, Magnesium pills, extra B vitamins and, because I am a middle-aged lady, Black Cohosh. (I do not want to talk about it.) I also bought something called “Adrenal support.” I’m really not sure what’s in it, because the font is ridiculously small and I haven’t needed reading glasses nearly long enough to ever remember where I put them, but it was in the “Stress Relief” section and it was on sale, so good enough for me.
I’ve started swimming again and try to run or swim or bike nearly every day. Additionally, whenever I hear myself say, “I’m so tired” at work, I force myself to go into the storeroom and do one minute of jumping jacks and running high knees. I hate running high knees, so even though I’m usually still exhausted, at least I’m training myself to stop complaining about it. You’re welcome, co-workers.
A tremendously brilliant move on my part has been to stop looking at any online news first thing in the morning. “What fresh hell is this?” Is not a sentiment which tends to inspire happy mornings. Much better to wait and get caught up with the news of the day later, when life starts to seem like a slog. That might not sound like an improvement, but trust me, it is.
Finally, I’ve been much better about meditating. I meditate like a champ. I meditate on the reality that even though we are all connected, you can’t make anybody do anything, no matter how much common sense or decency would seem to lend itself to your cause. I meditate on the fact that, as smart as I believe myself to be, I cannot actually foretell the future. That my pessimistic bent aside, things might turn out well. Could be. I don’t know. I meditate a lot on the advice to not make things so solid. To allow for the expansiveness and potential and lightness of life to be as real as my gloomy thoughts. I meditate on the fact that all things are temporary; that teenagers grow and their frontal lobes eventually do mature, which is a good thing. Also good? Term limits.
Is it working? Well, I haven’t crawled back into bed, so that’s something. I’m all hopped up on vitamins, so I should soon have the shiny mane and strong hooves of a race horse. Plus today the Halloween candy goes on sale and half-price Snickers day is one of my very favorite days of the year. So, yes. Things are looking up.
Didn’t think I could POSSIBLY love you any more, but after reading this one. I do. I do indeed. You make me laugh when there’s nothing to laugh about. You make me see the world with new eyes. No small feat. God, I love you!
Gosh, you are sweet. Thank you for that.