December 11 – 11 Things
What are 11 things your life doesn’t need in 2011?

Well, allllright! Now this is a prompt I can get behind! Wait… What?… No names?

  1. Annoying, teenage temper tantrums. What? I didn’t state any names. I’m just suggesting that I could live a very long time without hearing anyone tell me how I am trying to ruin their life because I will not acquiesce to their every self-centered whim. Again.
  2. Annoying, seven-year-old temper tantrums.
  3. Financial uncertainty…although playing with that “cost-of-raising-a-child” calculator has made me despair of ever seeing two dimes to rub together. Geez, louise, but these munchkins are expensive! I should’ve raised ferrets…. and it would’ve taken care of #1 and #2 on this list, besides.
  4. Chin hair.
  5. Exhaustion. I’m tired just typing this! I think that I could achieve almost anything if my fondest desire come 7:00 every night was something other than the sweet kiss of oblivion. Sleep or a sudden coma. I’m so tired most evenings that I don’t care which happens. Either way I’m laying down.
  6. Cruddy distance runs. I’m serious. I want to be speedy quick this year. I know, I know…we’ve been down this road before. (Um, literally.) But just because I’m considered dang near elderly by running standards, am of a weight that qualifies me as falling within the technical “clydesdale” class of runners and have, at most 3-4 hours a week to dedicate to the sport is no need to assume that I can’t achieve a personal best race pace this year… and then proceed to lie down and take a nap in front of the banana and granola bar table, I’m thinkin’. Hope springs eternal, people.
  7. Self-doubt. I WILL make some money. I WILL run a 4:30:00 marathon. I WILL abolish rogue chin follicles. I WILL find more energy and …zzzzzz….
  8. Crap. The type currently amassing inside my home; errant scraps of paper, broken toys (is there any other kind?) abandoned craft projects, sweaters and accessories. Sports paraphernalia (gesundheit!), kitty scratching posts and DVDs. I’m serious. This stuff has got to GO! We need a little breathing space in here. So sayonara, half-charged batteries that fit nothing. So long, used plastic bags. Get out and take all your ne’er-do-well friends with you. Except the sweaters. The sweaters can stay.
  9. Political e-mail updates. I can’t…I just…can’t.
  10. Useless Trashy food. I want lovely, homey meals and well-composed plates of food…not some of the weirdness I end up consuming while standing in my kitchen famished after work. Ugh. If I’m going to spend the calories, I’d like it to be on a magazine worthy bowl of coc a vin and not peanut butter and squeezy cheese spread on a rye crisp with my finger.
  11. Laundry.

The Rise & Fall of a Momocracy

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