It’s Halloween and it occurs to me how very often frightening things come in small packages, like Chucky or those kids from Children of the Corn and now, this:

Such a small thing, to contain such horrors.

I know that I seemed indecisive about making this purchase all of one week ago, but Hubby and I found it cheaply online and he noted that we could get the whole DVD set for cheaper than another race registration. It seemed like a valid point at the time.

So this is all Hubby’s fault, is what I’m saying.

Let me tell you, this workout does not disappoint. You know that part of the Insanity infomercial where the beautiful people lie on the ground between intervals, gasping and wheezing and looking like they might possibly hurl?

Totally accurate.

In my brain, because I am mostly delusional, I thought the workout would be hard, sure, but I didn’t expect to be lying on the ground in a puddle of my own sweat twenty darn minutes into the DVD.

“But I run marathons!” I gasped, between lungfuls of air.

Here’s the thing; runners go in one direction. Forward. We do not go diagonal, sideways, or most horrifyingly, UP. Up is wrong. Up is hard. Up is evil. Especially if you are a chunky runner and, therefore, inflicted with an over-abundance of gravity. I was meant to remain low to the ground, baby, but there’s Shaun T urging me to jump higher and faster which just seems, dare I say it, INSANE.

Still, though crazily intense, the workouts are shorter than what I’m used to, so I should be able to stick it out — she said with the mistaken confidence born of completing two whole workouts.

Two workouts -gulp- that means there are fifty-eight left to go.

I’m scared.

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The Rise & Fall of a Momocracy

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