I hate sports.
I hate our stupid baseball schedule.
I super hate whoever is supposed to be in charge of canceling games in our super stupid league.
But…I love my son–
–which is how I ended up spending my afternoon in a downpour, watching two bedraggled teams of 11 year old boys play baseball in the mud. It was raining so hard that the water wound it’s way around to the inside of the hood of my raincoat and then straight down the back of my neck. Did I mention it was FREEZING? Fabulous. I amused myself for a while by glaring vehemently at the coaches, the umpire and the Dad standing in front of me who was way too frickin’ animated to my way of thinking and when their heads did NOT burst into flame (thereby providing some much needed heat) I gave up and called my mother to loudly thank her for never making me play baseball! Hurrumph!
“Oh, it wasn’t just baseball,” she laughed, ” I actively dissuaded you from any extracurriculars. I thought it’d be easier if you just stayed home, maybe cleaned your room…Wait. Are you crying?”
“I just (sniff) feel so close to you right now.” I replied tearily. And then I sneezed.
Why, oh why, won’t people let me run things? I could make this league so much better and it wouldn’t take but a few, slight changes;
1) Open bar. Okay, that pretty much makes everything better. I could just stop right there and I’d already be the best director in the history of Park and Rec sports.
2) 45 minute games. We have places to be, people. Better places than some god-forsaken field in the middle of a rainstorm for cryin’-in-a-bucket. And speaking of…
3) No frickin’ frackin’ games in the rain. These are children not professional athletes, who for 18 million dollars should jolly well continue playing in the middle of a hurricane, tsunami or freak, summertime blizzard. Oh, and no games when the temps are below 70. Or above 77. Yes, I understand that will compress the season, but it is a sacrifice that I am willing to make. You’re welcome.
4) Let’s get some decent food out here, while we’re at it. A little nosh often improves my mood and, yes, this IS about me.
Don’t think that I am one of those types who complains and moans to their friends, or on their little blog, and never confronts the problem directly. It just so happens that I wrote an email to the director of our Parks and Recreation Board ever so graciously thanking him for all his hard work before suggesting that perhaps the scheduling of said baseball games was a bit rigid, excessive and obviously totally insane. He even wrote me back;
“Dear Parks Patron:
We have received your comments/complaint. Rest assured that we will review your comments. We hope that you continue to use our Parks and Recreation programs. Thank you.”
Translation: “I got yer comment/complaint right here!”
Grrr…see if I let HIM enjoy our Open Bar after I steal his job.