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Last night we were playing cards with our neighbors when one of them asked how long we’d been married.

 
“It’ll be fifteen years this fall,” my husband replied.
 
“Yes,” I agreed, waggling my left hand fingers at him, “and I believe ‘shiny/pretty’ is appropriate for that year.”
 
And, oh, HOW we laughed. The mere idea is ludicrous. I’m not sure if you’ve noticed, but there’s a recession going on out there and we, like many others, are caught in it’s crosshairs. At this rate I’ll be happy if “shiny/pretty” amounts to an economy-size roll of heavy duty Reynold’s Wrap. It was too good of an idea to pass up so, mainly for my own amusement, here is the NEW Anniversary gift table, suitable for our current economic climes:
 
Anniversary    Traditional gift        2010 Revised gift
first                  paper                        Puffs with Lotion
second             cotton                       Q-tips
third                leather                       Fruit Roll Ups
fourth              fruit/flowers              berry scented car freshener
fifth                 wood                         abandoned pallet from gas station
sixth                candy/iron                Pez
seventh            wool/copper             AAA batteries
eighth              bronze/pottery         Gladware
ninth                pottery/willow          state fair yardstick
tenth                Tin/aluminum          roll of quarters
 
and for that all important upcoming anniversary?…..
fifteenth          crystal                       meth
 
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The Rise & Fall of a Momocracy

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